Why the Seder?

This essay is part of my project for my Tzovah (first-level) initiation with the Hebrew Priestess Institute. The project I have been working on for the past year and 1/2 is to develop seasonal seders. The physical deliverable I will present to the directors of the program and my sisters in January will be the first seder, in what I hope will be an on-going and life-long project: Seders for all Seasons ^(tm).

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Food has always played a large part in my life and in my understanding of Judaism. It hasn’t always played a healthy role, but it’s always been there. I’ve joked for years that the religion of my family is food and how we used to have to talk my dad out of going for pancakes on the way to Yom Kippur morning services. But, so many of my happy memories of my family and Judaism also revolve around food. Passover was always a huge thing in my house growing up. It was like Thanksgiving, just more organized. I have great memories of summer and lobster and clambakes with lots of fresh New England salt marsh corn! Yes, I’m aware that shellfish isn’t kosher, but I assure my family didn’t mind. Every holiday had some food association for me, as it does for so many people. It’s an easy way to connect to your family’s traditions.

But, my relationship with food hasn’t always been healthy. I was a very heavy child. I learned young that ice cream was “medicinal” and so we ate a lot of it. I actually didn’t understand what medicinal meant for years, I just thought it was an excuse to eat ice cream. Heart disease and type II diabetes runs rampant in parts of my family because of our love of food. I struggled with binge eating and body dismorphia problems through college, and still have the occasional relapse.

Over the years, I’ve learned to have a healthier relationship to food. I began eating seasonally and appreciating local, natural flavors. I cook my own food as often as possible so I really understand what I’m eating. The more I found ways to connect to the sources of my food, the healthier my relationship with food has become. I spend more on less because I know the farmer who made the incredible goat cheese that I’ve purchased. I don’t need to eat a lot of it. I can appreciate this delicacy and enjoy it proper proportion. Eating seasonally connects me to the cycles of the world around me, which I think also is very important. This means that you don’t go buy strawberries in February just because you can. They aren’t in season! That means they’ve been shipped in from who knows where. They taste bland and resources have been wasted in getting them to you, but I digress.

I’ve chosen the seder as a format because food is something that we can all appreciate and it reflects the cycles of the earth. I’ve also chosen it because it is a flexible, home-based format that allows for personal interaction and involvement. Seders are not passive events that you observe. You participate and experience, which for me is preferable in most circumstances.

Before developing a seder, I need to set the boundaries. How am I defining a seder? Isn’t it just the ritual that goes with Passover? Traditionally a seder is the home service of Passover. The word itself means “order.”

For the purposes of my work, I will use the following criteria to define a seder:

Ritual intended to be prepared for and performed at home with friends and family without requiring Rabbi, Kohenet, or other dedicated spiritual leader to lead
Symbolic food(s) or a meal is central to the ritual
Ritual script or haggadah includes prayers, ritual actions, exposition, and storytelling
Family-friendly — ritual will invoke “wonder” in all who participate including children
While ability to personalize ritual may exist the ritual should follow a prescribed order of events which have been carefully developed with intention

I hope you will find meaning in this format and that it will allow you to enrich your spiritual understanding of both Judaism and how the holidays are connected to the seasons and the wheel of the year.

I’ll be posting the Tu B’Shevat Seder just after the first of the year.