At Circle last Sunday, I poured and offering of thanks to the Shekhinah for a rich life full of challenges. Some days it’s really hard to see those challenges as positive, as opportunities to learn and grow. I know that’s what life is, but damn I wish it were easier sometimes.
The problem is that right now my only problem is an abundance of things to do. Work is busy — which should be good. If work weren’t busy, I might be worrying about my paycheck clearing. Becoming is busy — which is good. If Becoming weren’t busy, I’d be worried that the group was no longer relevant to people and be fading away. It’s summer, so the husband and I are off hiking most weekends. This is very good, because I like to eat but prefer to fit through the door. The next Kohenet Training Intensive is coming up, *woot!*. That means lots of reading and studying to do, a morning davvening service to write, and progress that needs to be made on my project.
So what’s to complain about? That I have a rich life full of interesting opportunities? That just sounds pathetic and whiny. No. I really need to focus on how all of this is a blessing…damn it. *Feel blessed, you ingrate.* Abundance can sometimes be overwhelming. During a drought you may pray for rain, and then when it comes — pray for it to stop before it washes everything away. That’s kind of what I feel like these days. So now, metaphorically speaking, I’m lining up my water collectors and lining my house with sandbags.
If I survive the downpour I’ll be just fine.
**hugs**
That reminds me of the Talmudic tale about Honi and his circle (Honi Ha’Me’agel): after a long time without rain, Honi decided to help his people. He drew a circle and stood inside it. Than, he called God and talled him that won’t step out of that circle and God will pour some rain. and he did: God poured so much rain that Jerusalem nearly drowned. Than Honi stood again in his circle, and talled God that he won’t step out untill the flood will be transformed to a blessing rain.
We can learn from this: not to ask more than we need, and to know that anything (even good things) can be too much.
May you’ll have a blissful downpour!
Thanks for reminding me about that story. Note to self — cast circle and ask for moderation!
By being thankful every day (and many times over), I believe that I have brought into my life many miracles that enable to live the way I want (mostly). That is to say while I still have debt which is my biggest issue, I have a beautiful home, wife, child, and peace in my life.
I think being gracious for everything, including our challenges, shows our God-self that we create everything around us, and thus empowers us with creating more of what we do want.