I’m leaving tomorrow for a conference in Miami. That’s somewhere I haven’t been in a long time. The last time I was in Miami was probably nine or ten years ago — before I got married at least. I’m a proud Hurricane alum, but there’s been a lot of years and life lived between college me and now. Knowing that I’m heading down there and will be spending several days on the campus have gotten me thinking about a lot of things.
The first thing it inevitably brought to mind is how few people I’ve kept in contact with from college. Heck, not just college — anything before I moved to DC. I only have one friend who knew me when I had a Boston accent. I’ve randomly run into a few of my friends from college over the years. One I ended up working at the same company with about a year later. We had a great reunion and then haven’t spoken since. One woman actually moved to DC, but we just had nothing left in common.
The Internet has allowed me to see what some of my college friends have done with themselves. Most of us seem to have left theatre far, far behind. But while I now know a little of where a few of them are, there’s been no spark of renewed friendship — save one. A call to faith has been an unexpected connection with one old friend and given us common ground. If we’re not friends again, we’re something new. People connected by a small, shared history and faith that leads us into the future.
I’m sure the campus will be different and exactly the same. I’m not sure I can resist the urge to head over to my old department — if it’s still in the same building — and walk the halls once. I’m sure the clouds of cigarette smoke are gone, along with all the faculty I knew. But I’m curious what traces are left. What ghosts of the past are still there? What altars will be there so I can leave an offering of thanks to who I was, and those who helped shape my path?
The truth is I’ll probably be so busy be in the now that any ghosts will walk right by. As I write this I’ve faded into a reverie — but I’m really at one with who I’ve become and the experiences that have brought me here. Without all of that I wouldn’t be this person now. I’m not sure I could begin to explain to a 20 year-old me about where life will take her over the next 15 years. I don’t think 20 year-old me would believe it!
נברך שכינה אלוהינו רוח העולם שהחיתנו וקימתנו והיגעתנו לזמן הזה
N’varech Shekhina Elohenu Ruach HaOlam Shehecheyatnu V’kiy’matnu V’higiatnu Laz’man HazehLet us bless the Presence of the Divine, Spirit of the World, who has granted us life, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this time.
I’ll find somewhere to honor the past, because it’s made me who I am. But I have no desire to go back and there’s so little I’d consider changing. I wonder what the next 15 years will look like!?!
Technorati Tags: past, history, life, shehecheyatnu, journeys
